What Is Neuroaffirming Therapy? Understanding Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy

Aug 10

Have you ever left therapy feeling misunderstood? Maybe you were told to “just make a list,” or felt like your struggles were being dismissed.

What does neurodivergent or neuroaffirming therapy mean? Perhaps you have heard of this, but how is this different from other therapy?

What Does "Neurodivergent" Mean?

Before jumping into neuroaffirming therapy, what is neurodivergence? Neurodivergence is a natural variation of brain functioning, including thinking, emotions, and executive functioning. Neurodivergence covers a wide umbrella of functioning and can often be seen as anything that isn’t “neurotypical.” However, for the sake of ease, neurodivergence can refer to, but is not limited to, ADHD, Autism, and AuDHD (a combination of both Autism and ADHD). Every neurodivergent person is different, and while themes of experience may overlap, entire perspectives and life experiences may differ. An affirming therapist understands this.

What Does Neuroaffirming Therapy Mean?

An affirming therapist views the client holistically without trying to “fix” anything. There is nothing to fix. We as therapists understand and respect communication differences. You want to focus on a fidget or art-making while talking? Cool! You don’t want to talk and just want to create in silence? Also cool! Maybe it takes a while to find the right words you're looking for. No rush! Feel free to communicate in whatever way feels most comfortable.

Affirming therapists understand sensory differences. Hate overhead lights? We’ll turn them off. Want to meet virtually in your comfy clothes? That works! Affirming therapists support accommodations rather than encouraging you to “mask” or hide your true self. In therapy, we never want you to hide or feel like you need to be anyone other than yourself. We want you to feel comfortable. Therapy can be hard enough; we don’t want to make it any more difficult.

Affirming therapists don’t ignore your struggles, but we also don’t assume neurodivergence is the problem. To affirm is to help build, alongside you, a life that works for you, not try to “fit in.”

What Does Neuroaffirming Therapy Look Like?

I gave some previous examples of what affirming therapy may look like in session, but I’ll expand. Affirming therapy is all about flexibility and adaptability. Maybe sitting down for an entire hour is uncomfortable. Feel free to move about in a way that feels right. This could be standing up, swaying, or even fidgeting. I’m a huge lover of fidget toys and will always recommend some of my favs. This might also be doodling or drawing alongside conversation. Coloring books are also another good way to move and stay focused.

Different Communication Styles

With different communication styles come different ways people process information. Unlike traditional talk therapy, we don’t all process through verbal communication. Maybe you’re a visual processor and need to look at or create an image that reflects the topic. This could look like a graph or bullet points. Maybe writing is the preferred form of communication. This allows you to communicate at a pace that feels more comfortable. Maybe this is seen in journaling or in writing in the chatbox of a virtual session. Art is another way to communicate, using colors, images, and visuals rather than verbal language.

Sensory Awareness

Something to keep in mind for affirming therapy is sensory awareness and different sensory needs. Sometimes with neurodivergence, certain senses are heightened and can cause sensory overwhelm. For instance, perhaps the overhead lights in the office are literally painful, causing it to be almost impossible to focus. Maybe the clock overhead has a ticking noise that is just impossible to tune out. Perhaps the couch is unbearably itchy, and sitting on it would be so uncomfortable you’d rather sit on the floor. To affirm is to know that everyone’s sensory needs differ and to be aware of the surroundings. For virtual sessions, this makes things a bit easier, as clients are able to meet wherever they feel most comfortable.

Working With Strengths

One of the most important aspects of neuroaffirming therapy is that the therapist focuses on strengths. We notice what you excel at and bring it to light. When we focus on the things we are good at, we notice the good in ourselves more and limit the harsh self-criticism of the things we cannot change (our brains). Some of these strengths may include creativity or deep empathy. Maybe you’re an expert in pattern recognition or problem-solving. We want to notice these and work with these strengths.

What an Affirming Therapist Doesn't Do

Now that we know what a neuroaffirming therapist is, let’s talk about what a neuroaffirming therapist isn’t. A neuroaffirming therapist is never going to set specific expectations for you based on “neurotypical” behavior. We are not going to assume movement or stimming is “bad.” We will never shame you about executive functioning struggles (planning, organization, time management). Shame is something the world is already putting onto us; we will never add to that. We will never expect a “right” way to communicate or expect/force any type of masking behaviors to make ourselves or others feel comfortable. As an affirming therapist, our entire goal is for you to feel comfortable in therapy, however that looks.

Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist

So, when deciding to start therapy, what types of questions should you ask potential therapists to know if they’re a good fit and affirming?

What experience do you have working with neurodivergent adults?
How do you adapt therapy to different communication styles?
How do you approach masking?
How do you work with clients who struggle to identify emotions?
What does neuroaffirming therapy mean to you?

Every therapist practices a little differently. It’s okay to ask questions, and if someone doesn’t feel like the right fit, it's okay to voice that as well. Feeling understood is an important part of therapy. If you’d like to know more about starting neuroaffirming therapy, feel free to reach out here. I’d love to be able to support you.